Relationships, marriage and divorce

Introduction to Relationships, Marriage, and Divorce

In this chapter, we explore Paul’s advice to the early Christian community in Corinth regarding their personal lives. The Corinthians had written to Paul with several difficult questions about whether it was better to be married or single, and how to handle divorce. Paul’s answers in 1 Corinthians 7 are shaped by two very important beliefs: that Jesus was returning soon (the parousia) and the idea held by some that the physical body was unimportant compared to the spirit. Understanding these views helps us make sense of Paul's sometimes surprising advice.

Note: This chapter focuses specifically on the development of the Christian community in Corinth. For information on other Corinthian issues, see the chapters on "Division and Unity" and "Worship."

1. Key Concepts: Why Paul Gave This Advice

Before looking at the specific rules Paul laid down, we need to understand the two "lenses" through which he was looking at the world. Don't worry if these terms seem new; they are the keys to unlocking Paul’s logic!

The Parousia (The Second Coming)

The term parousia refers to the second coming of Christ. Many early Christians, including Paul at this time, believed that Jesus would return within their own lifetime. Because they thought the "appointed time has grown short" (1 Corinthians 7:29), Paul felt it was better for people to focus entirely on God rather than getting caught up in the responsibilities of marriage and family.
Analogy: If you knew the world was ending tomorrow, you probably wouldn't start a long-term project like building a house; you’d focus on what matters most!

Gnostic-style Beliefs

Some people in Corinth seem to have been influenced by gnostic beliefs. These beliefs suggested that the body is worthless and only the spirit matters. This led to two opposite extremes:
1. Some thought they could do whatever they wanted with their bodies (immorality).
2. Others thought they should avoid all physical touch and marriage altogether (asceticism).
Paul had to find a middle ground, teaching that while the spirit is vital, how we use our bodies still matters to God.

Quick Review:
- Parousia = Jesus is coming back very soon.
- Gnostic influence = The belief that the physical body doesn't matter.
- The Result = Paul advises focus on God because time is running out.

2. Paul’s Instructions on Marriage (1 Corinthians 7:1-9)

Paul begins by responding to a statement the Corinthians likely wrote to him: "It is well for a man not to touch a woman." Paul agrees that singleness can be good, but he provides practical boundaries.

• Marriage as a safeguard: Paul suggests that because there is so much temptation, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
• Mutual Rights: Paul emphasizes that in a marriage, the husband and wife have equal duties to one another. He argues against the idea that one partner can "reject" the other's physical needs for "spiritual" reasons, except by mutual agreement for a short time of prayer.
• Singleness as a "Gift": Paul says he wishes everyone could be single like him so they could focus on God. However, he acknowledges that everyone has their own charism (gift) from God—some for marriage, some for singleness.
• The "Burn with Passion" Rule: Paul tells the unmarried and widows that it is good to stay single, but if they cannot practice self-control, they should marry. He famously says it is "better to marry than to burn with passion."

3. Instructions on Divorce and Separation (1 Corinthians 7:10-17)

Paul divides his advice into two categories: commands from Jesus ("the Lord") and his own apostolic advice.

For Christian Couples (v10-11)

Paul quotes the teaching of Jesus: A wife should not separate from her husband and a husband should not divorce his wife. If they do separate, they should remain unmarried or be reconciled. This is presented as a firm rule for believers.

For "Mixed" Marriages (v12-16)

The Corinthians were worried about what to do if a Christian was married to a non-Christian.
- Paul says that if the non-Christian partner is willing to stay, the Christian should not divorce them.
- Why? Because the "unbelieving" partner is "made holy" through the believer. This doesn't mean they are automatically saved, but the marriage is still blessed by God.
- The "Pauline Privilege": If the non-Christian partner insists on leaving, the Christian is not "bound." Paul says that God has called Christians to live in peace.

Did you know? Paul is often seen as a very strict writer, but here he is being very practical. He wants the Corinthian Christians to live peacefully and not cause unnecessary drama in their city.

4. Staying as You Are (1 Corinthians 7:21, 25-31)

Paul introduces a general principle: Stay in the condition in which you were called.

• Slavery (v21): Paul tells those who were slaves when they became Christians not to let it worry them. However, he adds that if they can gain their freedom, they should take the opportunity.
• The "Present Crisis" (v25-26): Paul mentions a "present crisis" (likely the nearing parousia). Because of this, he advises that those who are single should not seek a wife, and those who are married should not seek a divorce.
• Living "As If Not": In verses 29-31, Paul gives a poetic list of how Christians should live. They should have wives as though they had none, mourn as though they were not mourning, and buy things as though they had no possessions.
  Meaning: Don't get too attached to the things of this world, because the "form of this world is passing away."

5. Evaluation: Local Problem or Universal Rule? (AO2 Focus)

A major part of your exam will ask you to discuss whether Paul's teaching was just for the first century or if it applies to everyone today. Here are the two sides of the argument:

Argument A: It was just for the Local First-Century Context

• The Parousia: Paul’s advice to stay single was based on the belief that Jesus was coming back in a few years. Since that didn't happen as expected, some argue the advice is no longer practical.
• The "Crisis": Paul specifically mentions a "present crisis." This suggests he was solving a specific, local problem in Corinth that might not exist today.
• Gnosticism: Paul was fighting specific local errors about the body being worthless.

Argument B: It applies to all Christians (Universal)

• The Core Principles: Paul’s teachings on mutual respect in marriage and the importance of faithfulness are seen by many as timeless Christian values.
• Focus on God: The idea that being single allows for more focus on God (undivided devotion) is a concept many Christians still value today.
• The Authority of Jesus: Paul clearly separates his own opinion from the "command of the Lord" regarding divorce, suggesting that some of these rules are permanent for all believers.

Key Takeaway: When writing an essay on this, always show both sides. Mention the parousia to show you understand the historical context, but also mention how these teachings have shaped Christian marriage for centuries.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

1. Thinking Paul hated marriage: He didn't! He actually calls it a "gift from God" and says those who marry "do well." He just thought being single was "better" because of the parousia.
2. Confusing Paul's words with Jesus' words: Pay attention to when Paul says "I, not the Lord" (v12) versus "the Lord, not I" (v10). He is very careful to distinguish between his own apostolic advice and the direct teachings of Jesus.
3. Ignoring the Gnostic influence: If you forget that some Corinthians thought the body was "trash," Paul's focus on mutual physical rights in marriage won't make as much sense.