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In the text, Helen Macdonald describes the physical features of the first hawk using vivid imagery. Correct options include: 1) 'syrup-gold' to describe its eyes, 2) 'giant, scaly feet', 3) 'point-tipped black claws', 4) 'second-hand swan-down', 5) 'long, thick, yellow legs', 6) 'flood of sunlight' (describing its overall color/appearance), or 7) 'feathered thighs'.

Award 1 mark for each valid physical description of the first hawk, up to a maximum of 2 marks. Correct answers may be quoted or paraphrased. Acceptable answers include: 'syrup-gold' (eyes); 'giant, scaly feet'; 'point-tipped black claws'; 'second-hand swan-down' (plumage); 'long, thick, yellow legs'; 'flood of sunlight'; 'feathered thighs'. Do not accept descriptions of the second hawk (e.g., 'smoky', 'charcoal', 'smaller') or descriptions of behavior/sound (e.g., 'squeal of anger').

To answer this question successfully, you must select four distinct physical features of the first hawk from the designated description in the text.

Eligible points include:
1. Claws: Described as 'griffon claws'.
2. Wings/Feathers: Described as a 'broken marionette of wings' or 'fretful plumes'.
3. Eyes: Mentioned as 'huge' with a 'dark bar' at the front.
4. Thighs: Described as 'massive' and 'floodlit'.
5. Tail: Described as a 'great striped tail'.
6. Overall shape: Described as looking like a 'turkey' or a 'penguin' in her standing posture.

Award 1 mark for each correct physical feature identified, up to a maximum of 4 marks:
- Accept direct quotations or accurate paraphrasing.
- Do not credit descriptions of the hawk's internal feelings or the writer's emotions unless they directly depict the hawk's physical state.
- Do not credit descriptions of the second hawk.

In the passage, Helen Macdonald's reactions to seeing the first hawk are characterized by intense shock, sensory overload, and profound awe:

1. **Overwhelming Sensory Shock**: The physical appearance of the hawk immediately overwhelms her. She describes it as a 'conjuring trick' and notes its brilliance ('like gold on water'), indicating that the visual impact is sudden and dazzling.
2. **A Sense of Scale and Power**: The writer is struck by the bird's scale, describing it as 'huge' and comparing it to a 'griffon'. This mythical comparison suggests she views the hawk as something legendary, powerful, and larger than life.
3. **Intense Emotional and Physical Reactivity**: She feels a physical response to the bird, describing 'a sudden flood of light' and her own breathless state. Her focus is intensely narrow, as she notes 'everything else' goes out of focus.
4. **Feeling of Beauty and Terror**: The hawk is depicted as beautiful yet intimidating. Macdonald describes the hawk's eyes as 'wild' and filled with 'a great flood of sunlight of another world', indicating she feels she is witnessing something truly alien, untamed, and sublime.
5. **Instantaneous and Total Concentration**: She is utterly transfixed; the immediate details of the hawk's movement ('shaking itself', 'feathers raising') absorb her entire attention, demonstrating her profound captivation and immediate emotional investment.

Award 1 mark for each point explained, up to a maximum of 5 marks. Candidate responses must show a clear understanding of the writer's feelings/reactions, supported by close reference to the text.

Points may include:
- **Disbelief / Awe at the sudden appearance**: The hawk appears like a 'conjuring trick', showing her surprise and sense of wonder.
- **Overwhelmed by beauty / Brilliance**: Describing the hawk as 'like gold on water' or 'brilliance' shows she is deeply struck by its striking visual presence.
- **Sense of the bird's size / Power**: The comparison to a 'griffon' or describing it as 'huge' shows she is intimidated or deeply impressed by its physical majesty.
- **Sense of alien/otherworldly nature**: The phrase 'a great flood of sunlight of another world' conveys her feeling of being transported or encountering something sublime and spiritual.
- **Sensory overload**: The details of the hawk's movements ('sound of steel-faced nylon', 'syrupy slow-motion') illustrate her highly heightened state of awareness and focus.

*Note: Accept other valid, textually-supported explanations.*

In the passage, Helen Macdonald's reactions to seeing the first hawk are characterized by intense shock, sensory overload, and profound awe:

1. **Overwhelming Sensory Shock**: The physical appearance of the hawk immediately overwhelms her. She describes it as a 'conjuring trick' and notes its brilliance ('like gold on water'), indicating that the visual impact is sudden and dazzling.
2. **A Sense of Scale and Power**: The writer is struck by the bird's scale, describing it as 'huge' and comparing it to a 'griffon'. This mythical comparison suggests she views the hawk as something legendary, powerful, and larger than life.
3. **Intense Emotional and Physical Reactivity**: She feels a physical response to the bird, describing 'a sudden flood of light' and her own breathless state. Her focus is intensely narrow, as she notes 'everything else' goes out of focus.
4. **Feeling of Beauty and Terror**: The hawk is depicted as beautiful yet intimidating. Macdonald describes the hawk's eyes as 'wild' and filled with 'a great flood of sunlight of another world', indicating she feels she is witnessing something truly alien, untamed, and sublime.
5. **Instantaneous and Total Concentration**: She is utterly transfixed; the immediate details of the hawk's movement ('shaking itself', 'feathers raising') absorb her entire attention, demonstrating her profound captivation and immediate emotional investment.

Award 1 mark for each point explained, up to a maximum of 5 marks. Candidate responses must show a clear understanding of the writer's feelings/reactions, supported by close reference to the text.

Points may include:
- **Disbelief / Awe at the sudden appearance**: The hawk appears like a 'conjuring trick', showing her surprise and sense of wonder.
- **Overwhelmed by beauty / Brilliance**: Describing the hawk as 'like gold on water' or 'brilliance' shows she is deeply struck by its striking visual presence.
- **Sense of the bird's size / Power**: The comparison to a 'griffon' or describing it as 'huge' shows she is intimidated or deeply impressed by its physical majesty.
- **Sense of alien/otherworldly nature**: The phrase 'a great flood of sunlight of another world' conveys her feeling of being transported or encountering something sublime and spiritual.
- **Sensory overload**: The details of the hawk's movements ('sound of steel-faced nylon', 'syrupy slow-motion') illustrate her highly heightened state of awareness and focus.

*Note: Accept other valid, textually-supported explanations.*

### Analysis of Key Themes and Techniques

#### 1. Anticipation and Anxiety Before Seeing the Hawks
- **Physical Symptoms of Fear:** Macdonald describes her anxiety physically: "my heart aches," and she mentions "the intense, local heat" and "a light box of cardboard." The physical tension reflects her grief and the high stakes of this encounter.
- **Sensory Suspense:** The sound of the keys "chink[ing]" and the box "shaking" builds tension. The slow-motion description of opening the box creates a cinematic build-up, mimicking her hyper-alert mental state.

#### 2. Response to the First Hawk
- **Divine and Celestial Imagery:** The first hawk is presented as a magnificent, almost holy entity. Macdonald uses metaphors like "a gold-painted angel," "conflagration," and "a brilliant flood of sunlight." These choices show her immediate awe and reverence.
- **Sensory Overwhelm:** The bird is "all light and fire," which overwhelms Macdonald's senses. The description of the bird's gaze ("a brilliant, wild eye") shows a connection that is immediate, deep, and deeply emotional.
- **Natural Authority:** The bird is described with majesty ("a great primary feather") and seems too beautiful to be real, a "conjuring trick."

#### 3. Response to the Second Hawk
- **Stark Juxtaposition:** The transition to the second hawk is abrupt and unsettling. Macdonald uses terms like "smokier," "duller," and "a direct hit" to signify a shift from light to dark.
- **Gothic and Uncanny Portrayal:** This hawk is presented not as an angel, but as something monstrous and alien: "a Victorian melodrama," "a madwoman in the attic." The bird represents chaos and horror, evoking a sense of dread.
- **Desperation and Panic:** The climax is marked by Macdonald's pleading inner monologue and dialogue: "Oh, please don't make me go with her... I've got the wrong bird." This shift from awe to active desperation highlights her fragile mental state and fear of the dark power the second hawk represents.

#### 4. Structure and Language Techniques
- **Sentence Structure:** Macdonald utilizes short, dramatic sentences ("A fallen angel. A broken thing.") and single-word paragraphs to mimic shock and panic.
- **Syndetic Coordination and Listing:** Rapid-fire descriptions ("waves of wildness, of fear, of something else") mirror her racing mind and sensory overload.
- **Contrast:** The juxtaposition between the "glorious" first hawk and the "maniac" second hawk emphasizes the writer's internal emotional conflict and her desperate need for light over darkness.

### Mark Scheme (AO2: 12 Marks)

**Level 5 (11–12 marks):**
- Assured, cohesive, and sophisticated analysis of how Macdonald presents her thoughts and feelings.
- Perceptive exploration of linguistic and structural devices (e.g., contrast, celestial/monstrous imagery, paragraph length).
- Discerning selection of fully integrated references.

**Level 4 (9–10 marks):**
- Detailed and thorough analysis of Macdonald's thoughts and feelings.
- Clear, secure understanding of how language and structure shape meaning.
- Relevant, well-integrated references supporting the points.

**Level 3 (6–8 marks):**
- Sound explanation of the writer's thoughts and feelings.
- Clear identification of some language and structural features, with appropriate comments on their effects.
- Relevant references provided.

**Level 2 (3–5 marks):**
- Basic, descriptive response with some focus on Macdonald's thoughts and feelings.
- Superficial reference to language/structure, tending toward summary rather than analysis.
- General or limited references.

**Level 1 (1–2 marks):**
- Simple, generalized comments with little or no engagement with the text.
- Minimal or no reference to language or structure.
- Lacks supporting evidence.

### Model Response Outline & Comparative Points

#### 1. Thematic Similarities: Coping with Emotional Turmoil
* **Text One (Featherhood):** Charlie Gilmour uses the raising of a baby magpie, Benzene, to navigate his complex emotions regarding his estranged father and his own fears of impending parenthood. The bird acts as a grounding force, pulling him out of his internal anxieties.
* **Text Two (From H is for Hawk):** Helen Macdonald seeks solace in training a goshawk to cope with the profound grief of losing her father. Her obsession with the hawk is a way to escape human sorrow by connecting with a wild, non-human consciousness.
* **Comparison:** Both authors turn to birds during times of acute emotional crisis, finding that the absolute demands of caring for a wild animal force them into the present moment, offering relief from their internal pain.

#### 2. Contrasting Portraits of the Birds and Nature
* **Text One (Featherhood):** The magpie is portrayed as a domestic rebel—a "tiny feathered anarchist." Gilmour uses frantic, energetic, and domestic verbs and adjectives ("urgent," "frantic," "bundle of needles and hunger") to depict a chaotic, endearing roommate that hoards blueberries under rugs.
* **Text Two (From H is for Hawk):** The goshawk is described with awe, fear, and mythological reverence. Macdonald uses rich, visceral sensory details and sharp, striking metaphors ("a heavy metal bird," "a concentration of life," "like a chalice") to paint the goshawk as an ancient, intense, and almost terrifying predator.
* **Comparison:** While Gilmour’s relationship with the magpie is intimate, chaotic, and integrated into domestic life, Macdonald’s relationship with the goshawk is formal, reverent, and characterised by a sublime dread of the wild.

#### 3. Language Techniques and Sensory Detail
* **Text One:** Gilmour uses tactile and everyday sensory imagery ("small claws digging into my collarbone," "feathers like oil slicks") to emphasize the physical reality of the bird’s presence in his home.
* **Text Two:** Macdonald uses highly literary, poetic language, loaded adjectives, and syndetic lists ("glorious, beautiful, ruined...") to capture the overwhelming rush of sensory data when she first encounters the hawk.

#### 4. Structural Progression
* **Text One:** Moves from amusing, chaotic anecdotes of domestic cohabitation to a quiet, profound realization of emotional connection and healing.
* **Text Two:** Builds dramatic tension through anticipation and suspense, peaks with the dramatic revelation of the first hawk, and plummets into sudden panic when she realizes she must reject the second, leading to a desperate plea.

### Assessment Grid (AO3 - 22 Marks)

| Level | Marks | Descriptor |
|---|---|---|
| **Level 5** | **19–22** | • Evaluates and compares writers’ ideas and perspectives with sophistication and insight.
• Offers a highly persuasive, analytical exploration of language and structural techniques in both texts.
• Integrates highly relevant, discriminating textual references to support the comparative argument. |
| **Level 4** | **14–18** | • Compares writers’ ideas and perspectives clearly and thoroughly.
• Analyses how language and structure are used to achieve effects, showing a strong comparative understanding.
• Selects a range of relevant textual references to support comparison. |
| **Level 3** | **9–13** | • Identifies and explains similarities and differences in ideas and perspectives.
• Explains how some language and structural devices are used, with appropriate comparison.
• Uses relevant textual details, though they may not be fully integrated. |
| **Level 2** | **5–8** | • Describes basic similarities and/or differences between the texts.
• Identifies straightforward language or structural features with limited comparison.
• Offers some general textual support. |
| **Level 1** | **1–4** | • Makes simple, isolated points of comparison.
• Little or no awareness of language/structural features.
• Minimal or absent textual references. |

To achieve marks in the highest band (Level 5), candidates should demonstrate a sophisticated control of register, structure, and expression:

### 1. Structure and Form of a Formal Letter
- **Salutation**: A formal opening, such as 'Dear Editor' or 'Dear Sir/Madam'.
- **Introduction**: Clearly state the purpose of writing (to respond to the council's proposal to pedestrianise/make the town centre car-free) and state your overall stance early on.
- **Body Paragraphs**: Well-developed paragraphs addressing the key areas outlined in the prompt. Use discourse markers (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'On the other hand', 'Consequently') to ensure smooth transitions.
- **Conclusion**: A strong concluding statement summarising your position and perhaps calling for action or further public consultation.
- **Sign-off**: A formal closing, such as 'Yours sincerely' (if writing to a named editor) or 'Yours faithfully' (if using 'Dear Editor'/'Dear Sir/Madam'), followed by a name or a descriptive signature (e.g., 'A Concerned Local Resident').

### 2. Key Content Points to Explore
- **Benefits of a Car-Free Zone**:
- Environmental impacts (reduction in air pollution, lower carbon footprint).
- Improved public health and safety (encouragement of walking/cycling, reduction in traffic accidents).
- Aesthetic and social benefits (creating a vibrant community space, outdoor dining, markets).
- **Challenges/Disadvantages**:
- Economic impact on local businesses (difficulty with deliveries, potential drop in customers who travel by car).
- Accessibility issues (challenges for elderly residents, disabled individuals, or families with young children who rely on vehicle transport).
- Displacement of traffic (gridlock on surrounding residential roads).
- **Alternative Solutions/Compromises**:
- Implementing partial restrictions (e.g., car-free weekends or specific pedestrianised hours).
- Enhancing public transport infrastructure (park-and-ride schemes, cheaper bus fares).
- Creating dedicated access zones for delivery vehicles and blue-badge holders.

### 3. Tone and Style
- The tone should be authoritative, reasoned, and polite, yet persuasive.
- Rhetorical devices such as rule of three, statistics (invented but plausible), anecdotes, or rhetorical questions can be integrated naturally to strengthen the argument.

### Mark Scheme Breakdown
Total: 45 marks
- **AO4 (Communication and Register)**: 27 marks
- **AO5 (Vocabulary, Spelling, Punctuation, Grammar)**: 18 marks

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### AO4 Assessment Grid (27 Marks)

| Level | Marks | Descriptor |
| :--- | :--- | :--- |
| **Level 1** | 1–5 | - Communication is at a basic level, with limited clarity.
- Little awareness of the format of a letter or the appropriate register for a newspaper. |
| **Level 2** | 6–10 | - Communicates with some clarity, showing a straightforward approach to the topic.
- Attempt made to use formal letter features, though inconsistencies remain in tone. |
| **Level 3** | 11–16 | - Communicates clearly and develops a sustained argument addressing the prompt.
- Appropriate formal register is maintained; format of a letter is clear and largely consistent. |
| **Level 4** | 17–22 | - Communicates effectively and persuasively, using a range of rhetorical techniques.
- Excellent command of formal register, tailored well to the target audience of a newspaper. |
| **Level 5** | 23–27 | - Sophisticated and highly persuasive communication with a assured, authoritative voice.
- Flawless command of the formal letter format and exceptional adaptation of register. |

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### AO5 Assessment Grid (18 Marks)

| Level | Marks | Descriptor |
| :--- | :--- | :--- |
| **Level 1** | 1–3 | - Frequent errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar hinder comprehension.
- Very limited or repetitive vocabulary. |
| **Level 2** | 4–7 | - Some control of basic sentence structures and punctuation, though errors are common.
- Vocabulary is simple but functional. |
| **Level 3** | 8–11 | - Generally secure spelling and grammar with a range of sentence structures.
- Vocabulary is appropriate and beginning to show range. |
| **Level 4** | 12–15 | - Spelling, punctuation, and grammar are highly accurate with few errors.
- Uses a varied and ambitious vocabulary to create specific effects. |
| **Level 5** | 16–18 | - Virtually error-free writing with sophisticated, varied sentence structures.
- Precise, extensive, and evocative vocabulary used to enhance persuasive impact. |

### Key Points of Analysis

#### 1. Interactions with Lydia and other passengers
- **Initial Isolation:** Lev begins the journey deeply insular, avoiding contact ('He did not want to talk'). This reflects his grief and the overwhelming nature of leaving his home.
- **Contrast with Lydia:** Lydia's practical, forward-looking nature contrasts with Lev's internal longing. While she has planned her future (aiming to be a translator, reading a dictionary), Lev's goals are immediate, physical, and born of desperation (finding manual labor).
- **Quiet Camaraderie:** The shared experience of economic migration is cemented through small gestures, such as sharing cigarettes or Lydia's herbal infusion. These actions reveal a shared vulnerability and a tacit understanding of mutual struggle.

#### 2. Memories of his life in Auror
- **Deep-Seated Grief:** Lev's memories are dominated by the loss of his wife, Marina. The physical absence of his wife looms large, and his journey is marked by a refusal to let go of her memory ('In the dark, he could believe that she was still there').
- **Economic Ruin:** The closure of the local industry (the sawmills) represents the collapse of his home community. His journey is not one of choice but of forced necessity to support his daughter, Maya, and his mother.
- **The Symbolism of Home:** The cigarettes and the money he carries are tangible connections to Auror. They are precious resources that symbolize his ties to the past and the sacrifices made to secure his passage.

#### 3. Use of Language and Structure
- **Third-Person Limited Perspective:** Tremain uses close third-person narration to immerse the reader in Lev's subjective experience. This technique bridges the gap between Lev's quiet exterior and his rich, painful interior world.
- **Sensory Imagery:** The writer employs vivid sensory details to capture the claustrophobia and physical discomfort of the bus journey (the smell of 'old fuel and cheap confectionery', the cold glass, the darkness).
- **Structural Transition:** The journey acts as a physical and psychological liminal space. The narrative moves chronologically forward through the journey, but is constantly interrupted by internal flashbacks, reflecting how Lev's mind remains tethered to his homeland even as the bus carries him toward a strange new world.

### Assessment Grid (AO2: 30 Marks)

#### Level 5 (25-30 Marks)
- **Perceptive and analytical** understanding of the text.
- **Sharp and cohesive** exploration of the writer's techniques, including language, structure, and form.
- **Superb selection** of precise textual references to support the argument.
- Excellent analysis of Lev's complex, bittersweet emotional state and the symbolic weight of his journey.

#### Level 4 (19-24 Marks)
- **Thorough and detailed** understanding of the text.
- **Analytical appreciation** of how the writer uses language and structure to present Lev's experiences.
- **Well-selected** textual references integrated into a structured argument.
- Clear recognition of the contrast between Lev's inner memories and outer reality.

#### Level 3 (13-18 Marks)
- **Clear and sound** explanation of the characters and themes.
- **Relevant identification and explanation** of language and structural features (e.g., third-person perspective, sensory detail).
- **Appropriate support** using direct examples from the text.

#### Level 2 (7-12 Marks)
- **Basic understanding** of Lev's feelings and situation.
- **Some comment** on the text's language, though analysis may be limited or descriptive.
- **Some relevant references** used to support points.

#### Level 1 (1-6 Marks)
- **Minimal or simple** response with limited comprehension of Lev's perspective.
- **Little or no reference** to the writer's craft or structural choices.

An outstanding response will demonstrate a sophisticated control of narrative structure and stylistic devices. Here is an exemplar outline and opening: 1. Exposition: Setting a somber or high-stakes mood at a literal or metaphorical boundary (e.g., a physical river, a border, or a transition in life). 2. Inciting Incident: The decision or necessity to make the crossing. 3. Rising Action: Obstacles faced during the transition, utilizing rich sensory imagery. 4. Climax: The critical moment of crossing, characterized by heightened tension and pacing. 5. Falling Action: The immediate aftermath of the event. 6. Resolution: A reflective, resonant ending. Exemplar Extract: The river did not look like water; it looked like molten iron, thick and dark under a bruised twilight sky. I stood at the edge of the muddy bank, the soles of my boots sinking slowly into the cold earth. Behind me lay the ashes of the old life, still smoldering in the quiet valley. Ahead, shrouded in a dense, uninviting fog, was the opposite bank. The wooden ferry-raft bobbed precariously, secured only by a fraying hemp rope. Taking a deep breath, I stepped onto the wet timber, knowing there was no turning back.

Assessment Criteria: Paper 2 Section B Imaginative Writing is marked out of 30, split across AO5 and AO6. AO5 (Communicating and Organizing): 18 Marks. Level 6 (16-18 marks): Communication is perceptive and subtle; sharp, sophisticated control of structural features; cohesive, compelling narrative; highly effective, varied vocabulary. Level 5 (13-15 marks): Sustained, cohesive, and engaging; effective structural control; varied, selective vocabulary; well-paced. Level 4 (10-12 marks): Secure communication; clear structural framework; appropriate tone and register; clear narrative progression. Level 3 (7-9 marks): Competent, clear communication; some structured elements; vocabulary is appropriate but may be predictable. Level 1-2 (1-6 marks): Basic to limited communication; simple or disorganized structure. AO6 (Vocabulary, Spelling, Punctuation, Grammar): 12 Marks. Level 6 (11-12 marks): Virtuoso control of spelling, punctuation, and grammar; extensive and highly sophisticated vocabulary; elegant, varied sentence structures. Level 5 (9-10 marks): Secure spelling and punctuation; wide, precise vocabulary; range of complex sentence structures used for deliberate effect. Level 4 (7-8 marks): Generally accurate spelling and punctuation; secure grammar; some sentence variety. Level 3 (5-6 marks): Spelling, punctuation, and grammar are mostly accurate, though with occasional errors; basic structural variety. Level 1-2 (1-4 marks): Serious errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar that impede meaning; basic vocabulary and simple sentences.