Component 03 Section B: Writing the 250-Word Commentary

After you have flexed your creative muscles by writing your 500-word narrative opening, it is time for the "behind-the-scenes" tour. The commentary is your opportunity to explain the deliberate choices you made. Think of yourself as an architect showing a client the blueprints: you aren't just saying what the house looks like; you’re explaining why you put the windows there and how you made the foundation strong.

In this chapter, we will look at how to pack high-level analysis into a very small word count (approximately 250 words) to prove to the examiner that your creative writing was intentional and informed by linguistic and literary concepts.

Note: To learn how to write the story itself, see the chapter on "Developing a narrative opening from a story outline."

What is the Examiner Looking For?

The commentary is primarily assessed on two main criteria:

  • AO1: Using accurate linguistic and literary terminology and expressing yourself clearly.
  • AO2: Explaining how you shaped meaning. This means explaining the effect your writing has on the reader.

Don't worry if this seems a bit technical at first. Essentially, you are answering the question: "I used [this technique] because I wanted the reader to feel [this emotion/reaction]."

The "Five Language Levels" Checklist

To get top marks for AO1, you should try to reference at least a few of the official language levels. You don't need to use all of them in 250 words, but picking two or three shows a "comprehensive" understanding.

1. Lexis and Semantics: Your choice of words.
Example: "I used abstract nouns like 'loneliness' and 'stagnation' to establish a somber semantic field."

2. Grammar and Morphology: How your sentences are built.
Example: "I used asyndetic listing in the opening sentence to create a sense of overwhelming chaos."

3. Phonetics, Phonology, and Prosodics: The sound of the words.
Example: "The plosive alliteration of 'bitter, broken bones' creates a harsh, aggressive tone."

4. Pragmatics: What is implied rather than stated (reading between the lines).
Example: "I used shared knowledge between the characters to create a sense of intimacy without needing heavy exposition."

5. Discourse: The overall structure and flow of the piece.
Example: "The discourse shifts from an internal monologue to direct dialogue to signal a moment of crisis."

Key Takeaway: Always label your techniques. Instead of saying "I used sad words," say "I utilized a melancholy lexis."

Narrative Techniques to Highlight

Since this is a commentary on a narrative opening, you must discuss narrative craft. Focus on these three areas:

1. Narrative Voice and Perspective

Did you use first-person ("I") or third-person ("He/She")? Why?
Analogy: A first-person narrator is like a GoPro camera strapped to a character—it's intense and personal. A third-person narrator is like a drone flyover—it gives a wider view but can feel more distant.

2. The Handling of Time

Narrative openings often use analepsis (flashbacks) or prolepsis (flash-forwards). If you started in the middle of the action (in media res), explain why you chose that starting point.

3. Moments of Crisis

Stories often start with a "disruption." Explain how you used language to signal that something is going wrong for your character.

Step-by-Step: How to Write the Commentary

With only 250 words, you cannot afford to waste time. Use this simple three-paragraph structure:

Paragraph 1: Aim and Voice (approx. 60 words)
Identify which outline you chose and what your main goal was. State your choice of narrative voice and perspective.
"In developing outline A, I aimed to create an atmosphere of suspense. I used a first-person limited narrator to restrict the reader's focalisation, ensuring they only know as much as the protagonist."

Paragraph 2: Lexical and Phonological Choices (approx. 100 words)
Focus on specific word choices and sounds.
"I employed a lexis of decay (e.g., 'rotting', 'crumbling') to establish a gothic tone. Sibilance in the phrase 'soft, sliding shadows' was used to evoke a sinister auditory effect, mimicking the sound of the antagonist moving."

Paragraph 3: Grammatical and Structural Choices (approx. 90 words)
Focus on sentence lengths and how the story moves.
"I used fragmentary sentences during the moment of crisis to mirror the character's panicked thought process. This contrasts with the complex sentence structures used in the opening, creating a rhythmic shift that alerts the reader to a change in tension."

Common Mistakes to Avoid

  • Storytelling: Don't just retell the story. The examiner has already read it! Avoid saying "First Bob went to the shop, then he felt sad."
  • Vague claims: Avoid saying "I used these words to make it interesting." Be specific: "I used dynamic verbs to create a sense of narrative pace."
  • Forgetting the "Why": Every time you name a technique, you must explain its effect. Technique + Evidence + Effect = Success.
  • Going over the limit: If you write 500 words for a 250-word task, you are likely being too descriptive. Be clinical and precise.

Quick Review

Did you know? The word "commentary" comes from the Latin commentarius, meaning a "notebook" or "sketch." Your commentary is essentially a map of how you sketched out your ideas!

Key Points for your Commentary:
1. Use official terminology (Lexis, Grammar, Discourse, etc.).
2. Explain your narrative voice and focalisation.
3. Link every technique to a specific effect on the reader.
4. Keep it concise—around 250 words is the target.