Introduction to Online and Parasocial Relationships

Welcome! In this chapter, we are going to explore how the modern world and media change the way we form connections. We’ll look at virtual relationships (the ones we have over the internet) and parasocial relationships (the one-sided bonds we form with celebrities). In the past, most relationships were face-to-face. Today, many start with a "swipe" or a "click." We will look at why we sometimes share more with strangers online than in person, and why some people become "addicted" to their favorite stars. ---

Virtual Relationships in Social Media

Relationships that happen online are called computer-mediated communication (CMC). These differ from face-to-face (FtF) relationships in three key ways: how much we tell people (self-disclosure), how much we lie (deception), and the lack of "barriers" (absence of gating).

1. Self-Disclosure

Self-disclosure is the act of sharing personal information about yourself. In virtual relationships, this works differently than in person:
  • The "Hyper-personal" view: Some psychologists argue that we disclose more and faster online. Because we have more control over what we send (we can edit our messages), we can present ourselves in a very positive way. This leads to intense, "hyper-personal" intimacy very quickly.
  • The "Reduced Cues" view: On the flip side, some argue we disclose less because we lack "cues" like tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language. This can make communication feel colder and less personal.

2. Deception

Because we cannot see the person on the other side of the screen immediately, deception is much easier. People can create "ideal" versions of themselves, changing their age, job, or even their gender. This is sometimes called "catfishing," where someone creates a completely fake identity to trick others into a relationship.

3. Absence of Gating

In real life, we often decide not to talk to someone because of "gates." A "gate" is any obstacle that gets in the way of a relationship starting.
Common "Gates" in Face-to-Face relationships:
  • Physical unattractiveness.
  • A visible disability.
  • Social anxiety or shyness.
  • Physical distance.
Online, there is an absence of gating. You don't see the person's "flaws" immediately. This allows the relationship to get off the ground because the focus is on what the person says rather than how they look. Quick Takeaway: Virtual relationships often develop faster because people share secrets more quickly and aren't held back by physical "gates." However, they also carry a higher risk of deception. ---

Parasocial Relationships

A parasocial relationship is a one-sided relationship where one person (usually a fan) spends a lot of emotional energy, time, and interest on another person (usually a celebrity), who is completely unaware that the fan exists.

Levels of Parasocial Relationships

Psychologists have identified three levels of "fandom," moving from normal to extreme:
  1. Entertainment-Social: This is the most common level. You find a celebrity interesting, follow their news, and talk about them with friends. It's mostly for fun and socialising.
  2. Intense-Personal: This is a deeper level. You might feel a strong "soulmate" connection to the celebrity and think about them all the time. You might feel very sad if something bad happens to them.
  3. Borderline-Pathological: This is the most extreme level. It involves obsessive fantasies and potentially dangerous behaviours, like spending thousands of pounds on a celebrity's used item or even stalking them.

The Absorption-Addiction Model

This model explains why people move from a normal interest to a dangerous obsession. It suggests that people form these bonds because of deficiencies in their own lives (e.g., they are lonely or have a poor sense of identity).
  • Absorption: The fan "absorbs" themselves in the celebrity's life to escape from reality. This gives them a sense of fulfillment they are missing.
  • Addiction: Just like a drug, the fan needs more and more of the "fix." To stay satisfied, they have to engage in more extreme behaviours (like stalking or obsession) to feel the same level of connection.

The Attachment Theory Explanation

Some psychologists believe parasocial relationships go back to childhood.
  • Insecure-Resistant attachment: People with this childhood style are the most likely to form parasocial relationships. They crave intimacy but are afraid of the rejection that comes with real-life relationships. A celebrity cannot reject you!
  • Insecure-Avoidant attachment: These people are the least likely to form these bonds because they prefer to avoid intimacy altogether, whether real or parasocial.
  • Secure attachment: These people usually have happy real-life relationships and don't feel the need for intense parasocial ones.
Quick Takeaway: Parasocial relationships are one-sided. People use them to fill gaps in their lives (Absorption-Addiction) or because they are afraid of real-world rejection (Attachment Theory). ---

Common Mistakes to Avoid

  • Confusing the two types: Don't mix up "Virtual" (online with real people) and "Parasocial" (one-sided with celebrities). They are different topics!
  • Assuming all fans are "crazy": Remember that the "Entertainment-Social" level is considered normal and healthy. Only the "Borderline-Pathological" level is considered an issue.
  • Forgetting "Gating": Students often forget the definition of a "gate." Think of it like a security gate—it stops people from entering. Online, those gates are "open."
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Summary Checklist

Can you explain...
  • The difference between the Hyper-personal and Reduced Cues views of self-disclosure?
  • What is meant by the absence of gating?
  • The three levels of parasocial relationships?
  • The Absorption-Addiction model?
  • Why Insecure-Resistant types are most likely to form parasocial bonds?
Tip: When answering exam questions on this, try to use a real-world example, like how someone might use filters on Instagram to hide a "gate" (deception/gating) or how a lonely person might start believing a YouTuber is their best friend (Absorption-Addiction).