Hinduism — Marriage and the Family (1E)

Welcome to Hinduism: Marriage and the Family!

In this chapter, we explore how Hindus view some of the most important parts of human life: love, sex, marriage, and the family. For many Hindus, these aren't just personal choices; they are part of a person's dharma (religious and moral duty). We will look at traditional teachings and how they fit into modern life in the 21st century. Don't worry if some of the terms seem new; we will break them down step-by-step!

2.1 The Importance and Purpose of Marriage

In Hinduism, marriage is known as Vivaha. It is considered a samskara (a sacred rite of passage) and is one of the most important stages of life. For most Hindus, marriage is a duty that allows a person to enter the Grihastha (householder) stage of life.

The main purposes of marriage are:

• Dharma: To fulfill religious duties together as a couple.
• Praja: To have children and continue the family line.
• Rati: To enjoy sexual pleasure and companionship (kama).

Source of Wisdom: The Rig Veda describes the marriage ceremony and the union of husband and wife, emphasizing that they should be "united in heart and mind."

Divergent Views: While most Hindus see marriage as a lifelong spiritual bond, some Humanists and Atheists believe marriage is a social contract based on love and commitment rather than a religious requirement. They may also support cohabitation (living together without being married), which many traditional Hindus might disagree with.

2.2 Sexual Relationships

Hinduism generally teaches that sexual relationships should take place within marriage. Sex is seen as a gift from God and a way to experience kama (pleasure), which is one of the four goals of human life.

Key Points:

• Sexual intimacy strengthens the bond between a husband and wife.
• The Bhagavad Gita mentions that kama is divine when it is in accordance with dharma.
• Many Hindus believe that pre-marital sex is not ideal because it doesn't happen within the stable framework of a marriage samskara.

Quick Review: Hindus view sex as positive, provided it happens within the boundaries of a committed marriage and follows dharma.

2.3 The Family and 21st Century Society

The family is the foundation of Hindu society. Traditionally, many Hindus lived in extended families (where several generations live together). In the 21st century, nuclear families (parents and children only) are becoming more common, especially in cities and Western countries.

The Purpose of the Family:

• To pass on Hindu values, traditions, and the sanatana dharma (eternal way of life) to children.
• To provide emotional and financial support to all members.
• To care for the elderly (honouring one's parents is a major duty).

Atheist/Humanist Views: They also value the family for providing love and stability but do not believe the family has a religious purpose. They might be more accepting of diverse family structures, such as same-sex parents or single-parent families, based on the principle of individual happiness and consent.

2.4 Support for the Family in the Local Community

The local Hindu community and the Mandir (temple) play a huge role in supporting families. This is important for keeping the faith alive, especially for Hindus living in the UK.

How they help:

• Education: Many Mandirs run "Sunday Schools" or Bal Vihars to teach children about Hindu scriptures like the Mahabharata and Ramayana.
• Worship: Families gather for bhajans (hymns) and festivals, creating a sense of belonging.
• Guidance: Priests or gurus can offer advice to couples experiencing marital difficulties.
• Rites of Passage: The community supports families during samskaras, such as naming ceremonies (Namakarana).

2.5 Family Planning and Contraception

There is no single "official" Hindu rule on contraception, but most Hindus believe in the sanctity of life. Views often depend on the specific tradition or the advice of a guru.

Common Perspectives:

• Pro-Contraception: Many Hindus believe it is responsible to use family planning to ensure the family has enough resources (money, food, time) to care for their children properly. This follows the goal of artha (economic well-being).
• Anti-Contraception: Some very traditional Hindus might argue that children are a gift from God and that interfering with nature is wrong.
• Methods: Most Hindus prefer non-permanent methods of contraception.

Non-religious views: Humanists strongly support the use of contraception as a way to empower women, prevent overpopulation, and ensure every child is a "wanted" child.

2.6 Divorce and Remarriage

Traditionally, Hindu marriage is seen as a bond for seven lifetimes, so divorce was historically very rare and discouraged. However, attitudes are changing in modern society.

The Hindu View:

• Divorce is generally seen as a last resort because it breaks the samskara of marriage.
• Remarriage is allowed, though in some traditional communities, there may still be a social stigma, particularly for women.
• Source of Wisdom: While ancient texts like the Manusmriti (Laws of Manu) are strict about marriage, many modern Hindus focus on the atman (soul) and believe that if a marriage is causing suffering (dukkha), it may be better to end it.

Atheist/Humanist Perspective: They believe that if a marriage is no longer working or is unhappy, divorce is a sensible and moral choice to prevent further misery.

2.7 Equality of Men and Women in the Family

Hinduism teaches that men and women are spiritually equal because the atman (the soul) is beyond gender. However, in daily life, roles have traditionally been different.

Equality in Practice:

• Shakti: The feminine divine power is seen as essential. Without Shakti, the male gods cannot act.
• Complementary Roles: Many Hindus believe men and women have different but equally important roles. The husband traditionally provides (artha), while the wife traditionally manages the home and nurtures the children.
• In modern Hindu families, these roles are often shared, with both parents working and sharing childcare.

Memory Tip: Think of the Ardhanarishvara (the deity that is half-male Shiva and half-female Parvati). This represents the idea that the divine is a perfect balance of both genders.

2.8 Gender Prejudice and Discrimination

Despite the spiritual teaching of equality, gender discrimination has existed in Hindu culture (such as preferring sons over daughters). Most modern Hindus work hard to stop this prejudice.

Why Discrimination is Wrong for Hindus:

• The Upanishads teach that the atman is the same in every living being. Discriminating against someone based on their body (gender) is a mistake because the soul has no gender.
• The Bhagavad Gita teaches that a wise person sees the same Divine in everyone.

Divergent Views: Some traditionalists may still point to old texts that suggest women should be under the protection of men. However, Humanists and most modern Hindus would argue that these views are outdated and that everyone deserves equal rights and opportunities regardless of gender.

Key Takeaway for the Exam: For every topic, remember to mention Dharma (duty). Whether it's marriage, family, or treating people equally, most Hindu arguments come back to doing the right thing for the soul and for society!