Question 1 · Short Transactional Complaint Email
21 marks### Situation
You recently stayed at the **Green Pines Resort** for a weekend getaway based on an online advertisement promising a "peaceful, eco-friendly retreat." However, your experience was highly disappointing. There was active construction right next to your cabin starting at 7:00 AM, and the "certified organic" restaurant served pre-packaged fast food instead.
### Task
Write an email of about 200 words to the hotel manager, **Mr. Harold Benson**, to complain about your stay. In your email, you should:
1. Describe the two main problems you encountered (noise and food quality).
2. Explain how these issues ruined your weekend getaway.
3. Request a partial refund and suggest how the resort can prevent misleading future guests.
Do not write your real name; sign off as **Chris Wong**.
You recently stayed at the **Green Pines Resort** for a weekend getaway based on an online advertisement promising a "peaceful, eco-friendly retreat." However, your experience was highly disappointing. There was active construction right next to your cabin starting at 7:00 AM, and the "certified organic" restaurant served pre-packaged fast food instead.
### Task
Write an email of about 200 words to the hotel manager, **Mr. Harold Benson**, to complain about your stay. In your email, you should:
1. Describe the two main problems you encountered (noise and food quality).
2. Explain how these issues ruined your weekend getaway.
3. Request a partial refund and suggest how the resort can prevent misleading future guests.
Do not write your real name; sign off as **Chris Wong**.
Answer
Subject: Complaint regarding disappointing stay at Green Pines Resort (Booking Ref: GP-8849)
Dear Mr. Benson,
I am writing to express my profound disappointment regarding my recent stay at your resort from October 12th to 14th. I booked the "Serene Eco-Lodge Weekend Getaway" expecting a peaceful and sustainable retreat as advertised, but my experience was far from satisfactory.
Firstly, your advertisement promised "tranquil, undisturbed nature." However, from 7:00 AM on both Saturday and Sunday, my family was awoken by extremely loud drilling and hammering from an active construction site right next to our cabin. This completely shattered any hope of a relaxing weekend.
Secondly, we were looking forward to the "certified organic, farm-to-table meals" highlighted in your brochure. Instead, we were served pre-packaged, highly processed instant food. When we questioned the staff, they claimed the kitchen was undergoing renovations, a major change that was never communicated to us prior to arrival.
This stay was meant to be a restorative getaway, but it left us stressed and deceived. Therefore, I request a 50% refund of our total booking fee. I also strongly advise that you update your online listings to accurately reflect ongoing construction and catering limitations to avoid misleading future guests.
I look forward to your prompt response.
Yours sincerely,
Chris Wong
Worked solution
An effective response must adhere to the conventions of a formal complaint email. It should include:
1. A clear subject line with booking details.
2. A polite but firm formal salutation and opening stating the purpose of writing.
3. Two body paragraphs detailing the specific complaints (early morning construction noise and misleading food quality) with supporting contrasts against the advertisement.
4. A description of the negative impact (stress and feeling deceived instead of relaxed).
5. A clear call to action (50% refund and a demand to update promotional materials).
6. An appropriate formal close and the designated pseudonym 'Chris Wong'.
1. A clear subject line with booking details.
2. A polite but firm formal salutation and opening stating the purpose of writing.
3. Two body paragraphs detailing the specific complaints (early morning construction noise and misleading food quality) with supporting contrasts against the advertisement.
4. A description of the negative impact (stress and feeling deceived instead of relaxed).
5. A clear call to action (50% refund and a demand to update promotional materials).
6. An appropriate formal close and the designated pseudonym 'Chris Wong'.
Marking scheme
The assessment is based on three main criteria (Max 7 marks each, Total: 21 marks):
1. Content (7 marks):
- Formulates a highly relevant, complete response addressing all parts of the prompt (the two complaints, negative impact, request for refund, and suggestion for improvement).
- Ideas are fully developed with realistic and persuasive details.
2. Language (7 marks):
- Demonstrates a wide range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate for a formal complaint (e.g., 'profound disappointment', 'shattered any hope', 'rectify these discrepancies').
- Register and tone are consistently formal, objective, polite but firm.
- Grammatical accuracy is high with negligible errors.
3. Organisation (7 marks):
- Structure is logical and appropriate for a transactional email (Subject line, Salutation, Opening, Body Paragraphs, Call to Action, Sign-off).
- Cohesive devices (e.g., 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Therefore') are used effectively to ensure smooth transition between paragraphs.
1. Content (7 marks):
- Formulates a highly relevant, complete response addressing all parts of the prompt (the two complaints, negative impact, request for refund, and suggestion for improvement).
- Ideas are fully developed with realistic and persuasive details.
2. Language (7 marks):
- Demonstrates a wide range of vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate for a formal complaint (e.g., 'profound disappointment', 'shattered any hope', 'rectify these discrepancies').
- Register and tone are consistently formal, objective, polite but firm.
- Grammatical accuracy is high with negligible errors.
3. Organisation (7 marks):
- Structure is logical and appropriate for a transactional email (Subject line, Salutation, Opening, Body Paragraphs, Call to Action, Sign-off).
- Cohesive devices (e.g., 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Therefore') are used effectively to ensure smooth transition between paragraphs.